Thoughts on Same-Sex Marriage

Honestly, I am really afraid to post this.  I don't often express my opinions publicly because I worry about what people think.  I love and know many people on both sides of this issue.  My intent is not to be controversial and I definitely don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.  However, I have felt the need to express my stance on same-sex marriage and why I feel the way I do.   Not because I have anything new or interesting to bring to the conversation, but because I think it's important for all of us to take advantage of our right to free speech and I'm not sure "liking" or "sharing" someone else's opinion fully does that.

First of all, if you are one of my gay friends or a supporter of gay marriage, please know that I love you and that I know this issue is very important to you.  I understand why it is so important to you and I would never want to trivialize your feelings.  I know that you seek the same thing that all of us seek - a happy life and to feel loved and accepted.  I understand that you have probably felt hurt, misunderstood, and judged at some point in your life and I am so sorry for that.  I sincerely hope it was not by me.  I won't pretend to know how you feel or everything you've had to go through, but I want you to know that I am trying to be understanding of your situation and want the very best for you.

I have a testimony that God loves ALL of His children whether they are male or female, gay or straight.  I believe that because He loves us, He has given us laws to live by so that we can be the recipients of His blessings. Each of us is given specific tests and trials to face while we are here on earth.  Some of those tests are much harder than others, but each of us is subject to sin and sorrow. I believe that God requires us to obey all of His commandments, even the ones that are hard, and even the ones that we don't agree with, if we want to become like Him and inherit all that He has.  We do not get to choose our tests, tendencies, appetites, or passions, but we do get to choose how we react to them.  

In 1995, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints put out a statement called The Family:  A Proclamation to the World.  I have prayed about these words and I know that they are true:

WE, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior and through His Atonement, we are able to overcome all temptation, adversity, or pain.  He will bear our burdens with us.  His Atonement will ultimately make all wrongs right and will make up for all of the unfairness we experience in this life.

Whether you are in favor of same-sex marriage or against it, let's all remember our Savior's words in John 13:34 - "A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you."  No matter our position, we can still be loving and compassionate, inclusive and understanding.

Happy Birthday Hazel!

Dear Hazel,

Happy birthday Squishy!  I can't believe that you've been here a whole year, and yet, part of me thinks you should be turning at least five because I simply cannot imagine my life, our family, or this world without you.

Hazel, I love everything about you!  I love your easy-going, good-natured personality.  I love that as sweet as you are, you have a stubborn streak that emerges at times.  I love your sparkly eyes, round cheeks, and big, open-mouthed grin.  I love that you still love to snuggle with me.  I love that you are such a ham and that you give big, cheesy smiles to everyone.  I love that you have to wave to every dog, cat, or squirrel we pass.  I love that you love your sister, your dad, and me so much and that we are your whole world, because you certainly are ours.

Happy birthday Hazel Mae!  I thank Heavenly Father every day for letting me be your mom.  I love you sweet girl!

Love,  Mama

Turn Around and Tender Mercies

My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions....He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh......And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.

- 2 Nephi 4:20-23

For the past five weeks, Aaron has been working turn around.  Turn around is where the refinery needs to shut certain units down for cleaning, maintenance, etc.  Since the refinery doesn't make as much when units are down, everyone works like crazy to get it done as fast as possible, which means Aaron has had to work 12-13 hour night shifts, 13 days on/1 day off.  It has been really hard.  Aaron is exhausted, I am burnt out, Hannah has had a hard time with Aaron working so much and has been acting up a lot, and Hazel has been sick (and has not been sleeping).  Needless to say, I think we're all very done with this turn around thing.  

That being said, I'm not sure if it's because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel (hopefully only one more week!) or because Aaron has been able to take a few days off this week, but I am feeling a lot of gratitude tonight.  So many things have happened that that remind me that god is very aware of my circumstances and that He cares about my problems, however first-worldish they may be.  He has sent "angels" to help me in the form of a visit from a friend or a phone call or a text from a family member.  I'm recording a few of the tender mercies I've received this past month so that I won't forget.

• Several days before turn around started, my friend gave me a "survival kit" full of everything from chocolate and crafts for me to activities and snacks for my kids.  Not only has it gotten me through some very long days (and nights), but it made me feel so loved.

• My parents have called and done a lot of FaceTime to check in on me and my girls.  They're always so good to help me remember that I can do hard things.

• Another friend brought me flowers, soup, cinnamon rolls, and herbal tea because I was sick.  A few weeks later, she brought me chicken tacos from Chipotle because she remembered they were my favorite.

• Several wonderful people have had me over for dinner/play dates.  It helped so much to get out of the house and be with another adult.

• With Aaron working so much (sometimes up to 95 hours per week), it was an absolute miracle that he was home and saw Hazel crawl for the first time.

• Someone anonymously left balloons tied to my door on Valentine's Day.

• My sweet friend dropped off dinner, cookies, and a huge box of other goodies for my kids.  

• My sweet mother-in-law has sent so many encouraging texts and is always checking in to make sure we're doing ok.  

• My friend from Utah (who I miss so much!) FaceTimed with me for over an hour one morning.  Just seeing her face really lifted my spirits.

• Within a 24 hour period, I got packages from my parents, in-laws, and my sister.  Each one made Hannah so happy and I am definitely a happier mom when my kids are happy.

• My sister has let me call her whenever I felt like I was going to have a meltdown, even at 11:00 pm her time.  She always knows just what to say and helps me stay positive.

• My sweet visiting teachers brought me dinner and stayed the whole evening so I wouldn't have to be alone.

• On one of his nights off, Aaron cleaned up the whole house, fixed the vacuum, etc, etc, etc, while I was sleeping.  And he's the one who has been working his tail off!

I know there are so many more that I'm forgetting.  Thank you to anyone to has helped me or my family these past few weeks.  I hope you know how much it means to us.  This has been a hard way to find out how lucky we are to have so many thoughtful and caring people in our lives.  Thank you!

Hazel Mae - 8 Months

Wow, I cannot believe how fast time is flying!  8 months already and you get more fun every single day!

One of my favorite things that you just started doing is reaching your arms out to me when you want me to pick you up.  You never cry or even whine when you do it; just reach out your arms and give me a big smile.  It is the most adorable thing and it is pretty much impossible to resist.   Thanks for making me feel so loved!

You are such a water baby!  You splash so much in the tub that usually Daddy and I are just as wet as you and Hannah.  You like to scoot all over the tub to get your toys and of course, play with your big sister.  I think you're going to love the pool this summer.

Your favorite toy is a little bunny stuffed animal.  It's actually Hannah's but she's not really interested in it unless you want it.  I sneak it to you whenever Hannah isn't looking.  :)

You're not crawling yet, but you are so close.  You can go backwards but when you go forwards, you give up after one or two crawl to lay on your tummy and kick your legs as hard as you can.  You can go between being on your back to tummy to crawling position to sitting really well and like I said in the last post, even without crawling, you get wherever you want.  You are super flexible and sit in the "splits" position all the time.

You are 26.5 inches long and weigh just over 18 pounds.

You are such a snuggler and I think you would live in the Ergo if I let you.  Lately, I've been wearing you on my back and you love being able to see forward but still be with me.  You love going for walks and being outside.

You're kind of hit and miss with solids.  At the beginning of the month, you loved eating table food cut up really small.and would eat just about anything I gave you - carrots, broccoli, sweet potatoes, black beans, bananas, etc. but you haven't been so excited about them lately.  You're good at self feeding - picking up, chewing, and swallowing, though, so maybe this is just a little phase.

You've been sleeping so much better.  (Thank you!)  You're still up once or twice to nurse, but I can handle that.

You have definitely found your voice!  You love to squeal, screech, and yell, and you love it when Hannah will do it back to you.  You're constantly babbling - bah-bah, ma-ma-ma, da-da, etc.

You have so much fun with your sister and you're so good to go along with all of her plans - from sitting in a manger to playing princesses or having tea parties.  You're always a great participant.  :)

We love you, Hazel Mae!  Thanks for bringing so much sweetness into our lives!

Hannah Shenanigans

This kid.  She seriously cracks me up and keeps me on my toes.  Every day she is learning so many new things that it really is hard for me to keep up with her.  Here are a few of her recent shenanigans.

A couple of weeks ago, we got rid of Hannah's binkies.  I never thought I'd ever let any of my kids have a binky after they turned one, but Hannah could not sleep without it and parenting is basically doing all the things you said you'd never do.  Any way, since disposing of the binkies, Hannah has been a pill when it comes to bed time.  She comes up with every excuse in the book not to go to bed.  "I'm too hungry."  "I'm too sick."  "I need to go to potty."  "I'm too cold."  "I need you to snuggle with me for a minute."  A lot of times her excuse statements are contradictory - i.e. "I can't go to sweep because I'm too hungry and cold and full."

Hannah loves Disney princesses.  Ariel and Cinderella are her favorites right now.  She goes around the house singing "Aaaaahhh, aaaahhhh!" like Ariel or she waves her pretend wand around shouting "bibbity bobbity boo!"  She even pretends that her shirt is long hair like Ariel's.

Lately, Hannah has really been into telling on people, and I don't mean just kids.  A lot of times she tells on me or Aaron to the other.  Yesterday she told me that Daddy pushed her (which was completely untrue, of course) and told me he needed to go to time out for five minutes (which is funny because I never attach a time limit to time out).  We're trying to work with her on telling the truth, but I'm not quite sure how to get her to do it.

Her prayers are so sincere and I love the insight they give me into her little mind.  The whole month of December, her prayers consisted of "Thank you for presents and Santa and Grandma and Grandpa and Minnie Mouse and Grey and Tanner and Kate and Emma."

Hannah got a wiggle car for Christmas from her Grandma and Grandpa Bytheway, but she insists on calling it her "bike."  She wants to ride it all the time, especially when we go out to the playground in our apartment complex or to go get the mail.  She does NOT want anyone to ride it with her or help her.

Yesterday, Hannah bit a piece of bread into a triangular-ish shape and said, "It's a Christmas tree!"  I thought it was pretty clever.

She mimics almost everything I do.  Sometimes this makes me feel like an awesome parent, like when she wakes me up saying, "Hi sweetie!  How ARE you?  Did you have a good sweep?"  Or when she offers to kiss my owies when I get hurt.  Other times, it's just an insight into the annoying things I do.  But, I do love how she tries to imitate me so meticulously.  The other day, I found her carrying one of her chairs into her room so she could feed her Rapunzel doll just like I feed Hazel baby food.  I even overheard her saying, "Just three more bites.  Come on, take a daddy bite!"

This morning, she came up to me and said, "Mom, come see my new findings!"  I don't know where she gets this stuff.

I sure love this crazy, curly haired little girl!

Hazel Mae - 7 Months

Happy 7 months Hazel girl!  You are at such a fun stage right now and we absolutely love everything about you!  Here's a little about you right now...

You're eating solids.  You aren't extremely fond of them and the first few weeks you clamped your mouth shut and would turn away from the spoon.  However, you've warmed up to the idea and at least now I can get a little bit in you.  You usually eat about 1/3 of a jar of fruits or veggies with a little multi-grain cereal mixed in twice a day.  Your favorites seem to be applesauce and sweet potatoes.

You are scooting like a champ.  Sometimes I am surprised by how well you get around.  You haven't figured out how to get up on your knees yet to crawl but you still manage to get almost wherever you want to by rolling/scooting.

Bath time is probably your favorite time of day.  You are liking it even more now that we're letting you sit up in it.  You love to splash and you're not the least bit afraid of the water.  You don't even mind if it splashes in your eyes.  You are our little water baby.

You love to keep me up at night.  You've been sick a lot this month, so I don't blame you, but we had quite a few nights this month where either Dad or I would be up with you every hour.  Good thing you're such a cutie and we never get sick you.  (But feel free to sleep through the night any time.)  When you're not sick, you usually still wake up twice to nurse.

You are still our little squishy.  I love your chubby belly, legs, and cheeks.

We celebrated your first Christmas this month and you were a pro at unwrapping presents.  You loved to tackle them with your hands, feet, and mouth to get the paper off of the present.  You had a better time with the paper than probably any of your presents.

You LOVE your sister!  No one can make you laugh like Hannah can.  You two love to snuggle and you are so good to put up with your sister's hugs and kisses (which are a little more like mauling).  My favorite part of every day is before naps and bedtime when I put both of you in Hannah's bed and read you a story or two.

You are such a happy girl!  I don't think you've met a single person you don't like.  You'll go to pretty  much anyone and you always have a smile for whoever is looking at you, whether it's Mommy or Daddy or the checker at the grocery store.  Everyone thinks you're a doll!  We sure love you Hazel girl!

2014 - Year in Review

2014 has hands-down been the most eventful year of my life so far. This year has definitely been exciting, full of changes and big adjustments. It's been a wonderful, difficult adventure of a year. So it's not all that surprising that I've only blogged twice in the past 365 days. Sad, but not surprising. However, I know I'll regret it if I don't record this big year so here are a few of the highlights.

Aaron graduated from BYU in April. I can honestly say I was way more excited about his graduation than I ever was about my own.  He worked so hard for his degree and I am so proud of him.  It was a great day to celebrate all of his hard work and sacrifices.  

Just a few days after Aaron's graduation, we moved out to the Bay Area.  It was so hard to say goodbye to our family and friends but we were excited for a new adventure.  I was eight months pregnant at the time and so we were lucky to have Aaron's parents help us move.  Not only did they drive our moving van, help with Hannah, and basically unload all of our stuff, but they made our trip so much fun.  

As soon as we made it to California, Aaron started his new job as a process engineer at Valero Energy Corporation.

After Trish and Sid left, we had about a month of down time until my due date.  To keep me from going crazy, we kept busy putting our new apartment together, along with going to Six Flags a few times, and celebrating Aaron's birthday and Mother's Day.  Our wonderful new ward even threw me a baby shower.  I loved this last little bit of one-on-one time with Hannah but at the same time, I was extremely uncomfortable and very ready to get this baby out.

On June 5 at 12:05 a.m. our sweet Hazel made her big debut.  She was 9 pounds and 21 inches long of precious, perfect, chubby baby.  She filled a gap in our family that we didn't know was there.  It was so fun to see how much Hannah loved her immediately and their meeting was one of the most sacred experiences of my life.  My mom came out a few days before Hazel was born and she took care of all of us for about a week.  Having her there was such a blessing to me.  She made me feel so loved and helped me gain confidence in being a mother of two by giving me lots of pep talks before she left.  We all had so much fun together.

The first few months after Hazel was born were honestly pretty rough.  Physically, my recovery was so good, but Aaron had some work emergencies at the end of June and had to work 12 hour night shifts and then go on several business trips.  I was overwhelmed with having a needy newborn, Hannah acting out for attention, being in a new place away from family, missing Aaron, and dealing with post-partum depression.  I'm so grateful for the wonderful friends who brought me dinner, sent texts, or came to check on me.  I'm also thankful for the power of prayer that got me through some dark times.  Despite it being hard, I loved learning to be a mother of two.  I remember cheering out loud the first time I got both of my girls in the car by myself, and again the first time I took them to the grocery store or to the park.  It was also a time that brought our family closer as we learned how to be a family of four.

In July, our families came out to visit and for Hazel's baby blessing.  It was awesome to have everyone here (minus my brother-in-law Dave, but he came to visit in August).  We had so much fun showing them our new life here as well as just getting some good quality time with them.

My sister, Heidi, and her two girls stayed a couple of extra days while Aaron went on another business trip.  It was seriously such a blast.  Our days were filled with with swimming and playing princess and after our kids went to bed, Heidi and I stayed up laughing, crying, watching movies, playing nertz, eating treats, and all other things awesome sisters do.  

In August, we experienced our first California earthquake - a 6.1!  Aaron and I woke up to pretty violent shaking.  I ran for Hazel and Aaron ran to Hannah and we met underneath our table.  It was such a scary feeling to have the ground moving beneath us and I am in no hurry to have that happen ever again.  But it was good to get one under our belts and showed us some of our home's safety hazards.

In September, Valero asked Aaron to go recruiting at BYU's career fair, so the girls and I tagged along for a little vacation to Utah!  We all got the flu which was super lame, but some of the highlights included: going to Silver Fork Lodge for sourdough pancakes, Hazel laughing for the first time, attending the Ogden temple re-dedication, going to my friend Melinda's bridal shower, seeing the Stevensons, and being able to go to the General Women's Meeting with my mom and sister, Amanda.  Oh, and I chopped all my hair off.  It was time...

The next month, we had a visit from our good friend, Emily.  We had a blast at Six Flags, going to the temple, and meeting up with our friend Bryce.  We loved it!

Toward the end of October, I was also able to fly to Utah for one of my best friend's wedding.  It was so good to be with friends and celebrate our lovely Melinda.  It was a short trip and just Hazel and me this time, but I'm so glad we got to go!  While we were gone, Aaron and Hannah went to the ward trunk-or-treat and Aaron won best costume as a mad scientist.

On Halloween, Hannah refused to dress up so instead of trick-or-treating, we went out for Krispy Kremes and saw all the pumpkins at Dr. G's Pumpkinitis, which was incredible.  Hazel looked adorable as a ladybug. 

We stayed in California for Thanksgiving and had a blast with Ben and Alicia.  I have to say though, I've never been so thankful for my parents for cooking Thanksgiving dinner for me for so many years.  It's a lot harder than it looks.  I'm pretty proud of us for cooking a turkey.

December was full of so much fun - Aaron's work breakfast with Santa, our ward Christmas party, seeing the lights at Candy Cane Lane, and going to Utah to be with family for Christmas (another post all about that coming later).

2014 was so, so good to us.  I'm so grateful for all of the blessings and miracles we have seen this year.  Here's to a wonderful 2015!

Congratulations if you made it to the end of this eternal post!  And that's why this year my New Year's resolution is to keep up my blog....