Confessions of An Imperfect Perfectionist

Isn’t it frustrating when you’ve been waiting all week for the Sacrament, to feel cleansed and recommitted to doing better, and then before you even sit down in Sunday School, you’ve already blown it with judgmental thoughts and impatient feelings, not to mention day dreaming about what you’re going to eat when you get home instead of listening?  That was me yesterday.

I am a perfectionist. I expect a lot from myself.  Maybe too much.  Maybe not.  But because I'm not perfect, it’s hard not to get down on myself when I mess up over and over and over.  I think it’s something that all of us, especially women, struggle with.

Enter Relief Society.  Yesterday in R.S. we watched one of my favorite devotionals ever given.  It’s a talk by Brad Wilcox, one of my former professors at BYU.  It was exactly what I needed.  I seriously suggest you watch the entire thing.

But, if you’re in a rush, I can share some insights I had while watching it.  

A lot of times I feel like, despite my best efforts, I’ll never be good enough, I’ll never make it.  Jesus commanded us to be perfect right?  Yet, we are imperfect beings.  This is where the grace of Christ covers us.  He makes up for all of our sins and mistakes.  In return, He asks us to keep His commandments.  This isn’t to repay Him, but to show our appreciation and to help us change.   With every attempt we make at becoming better, we are becoming more like Him.  Jesus Christ will also help us.  He is long-suffering and understands that change is a process. 

I’m starting to understand that it’s ok that I’m not perfect, as long as I am sincerely trying and improving.  I am so grateful for the covering, transforming, helping power of the grace of Jesus Christ.  I know that He is our Savior.  He lives and loves me, and each one of us, enough to help us change with His grace.